Final, done, over

I am horrified at and more than a little overwhelmed by where I find myself 3 months after last writing. It's a long story that could fill volumes but the short version is I married an alcoholic (functioning and who hid the extent of his drinking with some success for a long time) who has failed to deal with the problem even with at least 3 stints in rehab (if indeed 3 days can even be considered a serious rehab program). Numerous 'interventions', ultimatums and bargains failed even though his future depended on him agreeing to cut back and avoid binges resulting in being completely trashed.

I have young adult sons who deserve better and his behavior became unacceptable. When drunk he couldn't be relied upon to act responsibly or be trusted not to do harm to himself, the house or someone else. Emotionally I had withdrawn and the marriage was over at least a year ago if not longer but I allowed him to stay here (with conditons regarding his drinking) since he has been unemployed for 18 months now, without benefits of any kind for over 6 months and is completely broke. He chose, however, to cross boundaries and he was told he had to leave since he could not respect my rules, let alone me and my family.

Thing is, he has chosen to go 600 miles away to be near his kids (understandable although he is estranged from them) and has left behind so many things he had agreed to do in the way of chores and home improvement projects in exchange for room and board for the past 6 months (and a certain amount of cash for spending money which was blown mostly on beer). Hell, he even had the nerve to ask for cash to help him move (I gave an amount much smaller than he asked for).

This move was something we had talked about since his job prospects might well be better there , at least for something seasonal since he's headed to a large vacation area. That said, the fact that I picked him up from his latest rehab stay and the next morning he left, leaving behind many personal possessions and a whole load of mess I have to clear up, has left me speechless. He just all but got up and walked away from every single responsibility to start a new life on my dime. No hint of an apology for screwing me over or appreciation for all the support I've given him in recent months, just gone, without a word.

The relief of having not to keep an eye on him and support him is great but for now the anger is raging. I'm working as much as I can to make ends meet and he just ups and leaves without a care in the world for a fresh start, leaving behind a pile of debt and having taken advantage of my generosity for so long when I should have cut him off and forced him to face up to his situation and deal with it like a responsbile adult.