Thwarted, kind of

Yesterday went better than expected with both a haircut and

Yes, even though it was bitterly cold and icy I got my toes 'renovated' . Such a nice feeling.

But, things went downhill after that. My son's precious car developed a problem (good thing he's in auto class and can work on it at school) and that meant we're back to juggling errands, travel to and from school etc with just one car. This whole situation is wearing extremely thin and I did finally vent my frustration at Mr, whose own broken car has been sitting in the driveway for 2 or 3 months at least. Another reason why I have tolerated his behavior of late - he has no place to go, and even if he did, no way to get there.

Nothing else of any significance to report, or even anything insignificant really - life is pretty uneventful and today my enthusiasm for anything seems to have disappeared.

Winter

Our first winter weather advisory of the season, if you discount the bizarre weather we had this past Halloween. Back to franticly checking the school website and waiting for an email or text that never came. Despite freezing rain and some kind of crunchy stuff underfoot, it's business as usual, much to everyone's disgust. I had anticipated a delayed opening given the forecast and most likely lending my car to my son whose own car isn't exactly winter weather appropriate. That said, he may change his mind if it isn't as bad as predicted and I will find I'm not housebound after all. That throws me for a loop because I don't 'do' spontaneous very well. A last minute change of plans never sits well with me, even if it's to my benefit, adapting is not one of skills!

Now, what to do with the time I wasn't expecting? I should , or rather, would like, to get my hair cut and my toes painted and I'm trying hard to jusify the spending, even if, in the scheme of things, it's not that much.  It would certainly help my mind set and attitude.........

New Tricks

What is it they say about teaching old dogs? Well, this old dog is trying at least. Here it is, 7.15am and I am still in bed and not frantically launching myself into the day. Truth be told, I'd like nothing better than to stay in bed all day but I won't. Baby steps maybe, but I am trying to make significant changes.

10.30am, errands done and revelling in the warmth after braving temperatures well below freezing. It's going to take a lot of will power to head out again later to the gym, especially with a winter weather advisory for later warning of freezing rain overnight - oh joyous!!, not!

I'm thinking perhaps early afternoon would be a good time to go - the place was reasonably empty last week at that time.  I have wondered about making poolside my 'office' and do some reading and writing there but we'll see. One thing I do have to do is buy a bathing suit :) How bizarre that even with a swimming pool at home, I have not worn a suit in many years (since I can't swim) but the gym offers a jacuzzi (if they get it fixed that is, right now it is empty and supposedly will be bubbling again in a couple of days). Good thing that retail tends to work a season or two ahead - we haven't seen a serious snowfall yet this winter but the bathing suits are in the stores already.

Scratch the gym for today! Right now, my car is the only one on the road that can remotely handle bad weather so, being the good little team player that I am, I will be foregoing the gym so that others can use my car.

Best foot forward

There was really only one other significant resolution this year besides the weight loss / fitness thing - making the effort to 'dress up' before leaving the house every day. I've always been reasonably presentable , I mean I didn't quite wear pjs to the grocery store but it was usually old comfortable stuff and sneakers.  Tattered sneakers usually that meant that I could navigate the aisles in half the time without really caring what I looked like. Practical?, certainly but a sinful waste of all the beautiful shoes and boots in my closet with barely a scuff mark between them. What was I saving them for? I have no life, I don't go anywhere so why not dust them off and make good use of them, even if it is just to run errands?

Two weeks in and so far I have faithfully worn heels every single day. The burgundy ankle boots are one of my favorites to date but my pointy witchy boots are still by far my 'go to' pair.

By the numbers

I have been blessed most of my adult life with the same weight and clothes size, even through having 4 children; no secret or selling my soul to the diet devil, just dumb luck....until now. In the past year or so, probably less, I have put on a lot of weight, enough that none of my clothes fit. Having been a 'Small' or size 6, for maybe 35 years, I find 'medium', size 8 or 10 fit now. I know, a lot of people would love to have that problem but gaining 25-30 lbs makes me uncomfortable in my skin and 5'3" frame.

Disclaimer:not my toes, but it reminds me I desperately need a pedicure!

I hadn't weighted myself in maybe seven years,  but you would have to be blind not to notice the extra curves and squishy bits. So, with the New Year and a discount offer to a local gym, came the resolution to at the very least start exercising regularly. I have no explanation for my weight gain; I haven't changed my eating habits drastically although my lifestyle had become more sedentary and throwing in possible menopause, stress and anxiety may well account for it.

I have to admit it's not exactly a hard core workout so far.....30 minutes on a treadmill every day, but it's a start and an achievement that I get out of the house and go at all. I have to work up the nerve to try the stairsteppers and eliptycal (sp?) but I already know that's going to kill my legs for a while.  The gym itself is pretty awesome; set in the basement of a local ritzy hotel, complete with indoor pool, jacuzzi and a gorgeous outdoor pool and patio when the season allows (apparently I could even get a drink bought to me from the bar!!). Shame I'm moving within the next year.......although this place is so nice it may be worth a return visit a couple of times a week!

Winter mantle

This is the winter display I finally came up with for my mantle, put together with remnants from Christmas and other things I had lying around. Aside from the silver mercury jar the only new purchase was the blue hydrangea which was 70% off on clearance.

The mantle sits atop the fireplace in my bedroom and is part of the tableau that greets me every morning when I awake......usually around 3.30am. Have I mentioned the utterly ridiculous sleeping schedule I seem to have adopted? Without a reason to stay awake I tend towards laying down by 7pm,only to wake up 2 or 3 hours later, stay awake for a while and then sleep until sometime closer to 4am.

I will admit to finding that first blush of my day the best of all, still snuggled under my cuddly blanket and very often finding the cat curled up at my feet.

I wish, at times, that I could just stay here all day. The feeling of peace and comfort before the stresses and anxiety of the day sets in is close to perfect. During the winter months especially it is becoming increasingly difficult to throw back the bedclothes and greet the day.

tick tock

Time passes and another year is history. Where are the days going? The year just ended was remarkable for the buying of what I hope will be the family home for many years to come and the roller coaster of a relationship of mine that has seen claims of sobriety refuted and several seperations as a result. For now, I provide shelter and sustenance to a man who has been unemployed for the entire past year and who sees fit to spend whatever money I give him on a daily case of 12 beers, even if it was meant to be spent on different things.

So, as a New Year starts, decisions are to be made. I am enabling a man who is weakened by an addiction and helpless apparently to stop from drowning. Regardless, I have a busy year ahead, staging and selling a 3 bedroomed house and repackaging my life into a one bedroomed apartment.